Unemployed, disabled, and older.

Posted on LinkedIn discussion thread "Unemployed and older"

I should start a new thread: unemployed, disabled, and older.

I started replying to Susanne, whose situation is similar to mine: I never made it very far up the ladder. People have been talking for a long time about "the color of your parachute", and about following your passion to live a fuller life ....well, that's pretty much what I did, right out of school, with the result that I never made a real living (like most artists), and have always been dependent.

In my late 30s I took a solid, boring, (low-paying) job to support my husband through an extra degree, thinking he'd then support me, and he did, pretty much (with temp/part-time help from me) for a long time... but ultimately his company shut down, and he's been unemployed (and well over 50) for over 5 years. (He also moved in with his girlfriend... but that's another story.)

Oh - did I mention? The good part of that boring job is that it gave me health insurance - so when I started having symptoms I couldn't ignore (probably as a result of taking that solid job) and got my diagnosis of MS (which I'd clearly had for over a decade, and which may have been the reason I'd stuck, instinctively, to freer jobs), I was covered... the condition is incurable, disabling, and progressive, but at least I get meds to slow progression.

I have not been able to work a full-time job since my late 30s. The one time I tried, I had a relapse and couldn't work at all for 6 months. But there was a good side to this, too: while too sick to work I took a course and re-tooled for a new career (note: I was around 50), which worked out to a wonderful part-time job (with full benefits) that lasted for over 10 years... before ending this summer.

So now I'm over 60, incapable of working full-time, looking for part-time, flex-time, telecommuting jobs (the only sort of job I can do by now). Another glitch: as part of a deal with my ex-employer, I'm not supposed to look for work at all just now, with the understanding that I'll apply for their long-term-disability program after 6 months... but their disability program is EVIL! If I'm accepted, for the first 2 years I will not be allowed to do the sort of satisfying work I was doing for them... and for the next 2 years I will not be allowed to do ANY work... and then I'll be out on my ear, without their support at all, expected to go on Social Security. My take? - I've applied for SSDI, which is less restrictive: I could get SSDI benefits while still earning pin money and keeping my soul nourished with satisfying work. If I get that, I plan to ditch the employer's plan.

Fortunately, I'm still the person I was when I was following my passion as a kid. I physically can't do what I did when I was healthier, and much of my dream is closed to me... but friends and neighbors, hearing my situation, have been giving me tasks that pay (under the table) for the basics, and keep my mind active. And I know I'll always find part-time/flex-time/telecommuting work, under-the-table or out in the open.

I'm sad about the death of my occasional fantasies: get a full-time, well-paying job & surround myself with the things normal people take for granted (smart phones? iPads? better shoes; better clothes; meals in restaurants; vacations...?). I'm sadder about the death of dreams that my condition makes impossible. But my actual life hasn't really changed much with the end of my wonderful job - I'm simply back where I was, with a few more skills to take to market.