Not insomnia after all...?

This just came via LinkedIn:

The myth of the eight-hour sleep

http://www.linkedin.com/news?actionBar=&articleID=5578062617768894472&ids=d3ARc3oVc38Te3ASd3kSdjsRdiMOczcPcPkPdzcMejcScj4OdPkRb38Td3gVe3wSdPsNdz8Sc3wTdjkIdjoNd3kOd3AQdzkRcP0UdPsRdiMUdzATc34Mcz0N&aag=true&freq=weekly&trk=eml-tod2-b-sum-2&ut=1FvaGhiX01gR81

So - it's soy milk...

This week I slept through the night a lot, and woke up in the mornings able to think, and got a lot done. Even Tuesday, when I made the mistake of going out to lunch with LizBlu and her group - I was out for too long, and spent several hours flat on my back afterwards. But I finally did get up and accomplish things... and I slept that night, too.

So today, when I took my last sip of that soy milk I got last week, I worried a bit, because I'd found a note in an old diary that suggested soy milk helped me sleep... so I walked (!) to CVS to see if they had any, but they didn't.

That's okay, I told myself... I'll go to Stop & Shop tomorrow and get some.

Well, here it is again - 3 AM. At the computer.

Fear of fatigue

It's after 11 and I really want to go to bed... but I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll get into bed, and it will start all over again: I'll lie there waiting for the sleep that never comes.

That was a nice yawn... OK, I'm going to start to try.

3 AM again

I'm always afraid to go to bed. No matter how tired I am during the day, I know that I'll lie down... and lie there...

So I listen to a book-on-tape that I've listened to over and over for months. It's useful: I don't feel the need to stay awake to catch every plot twist, because I know the story by now. I can tell when I've succeeded in dozing, because I can hear when I've skipped a chapter or two.

But... Kitara climbed on my belly and purred... and she was sitting on my bladder. So I had to get up to pee. And then I had to drink some tea (which usually puts me to sleep)... and some more tea... and then I was hungry... And she asked for food... which she didn't eat, and she wanted to go out, and she wanted to come back in and eat the food she'd begged for before, and then go out again...

... shall I try again?

3 AM

Yes, there's a 3 o'clock in the morning, too.

Why am I up? I don't know how to deal with this: I lay in bed most of today -- and it was a gorgeous day, too! - 60 degrees and sunny... I'd love to be out on a day like that....

Instead, I was flat on my back, unable to move. When the sun finally went down I got up and ate something. Then I got on-line and blogged about the difference between pleurisy and the MS "hug" (I was curious... but no, that was probably really pleurisy back in '86)

... and then I watched crime shows on TV, and then I went to bed and listened to music... and then I got up and ate a whole lot more, and then I got on-line and prepared the content for an e-mail I've been trying to write since last Friday, but just didn't have enough brain-power to gather the simple facts needed.

Am I a vampire? Am I a cat? Why can't I function in daylight; why do I wake up after dark?

OK - back to bed, to try again...