Dad's birthday, 2013

Mark wrote: Glad to hear life is treating Matt & Laura better & hope it is doing tolerably by Marion, too.

Dear Mark, Matt and Laura -

I think it's lovely that the country still celebrates erev Dad's birthday by setting off fireworks! I'm still proud of him, and still love him and remember him with joy.

Tolerably? Yes, I can just about tolerate life. I'm spending a bit less of my time crying and thinking of death. But after over a decade of receiving annual reviews that included only one complaint - "Marion has to remember to take her vacation!" - it's still very hard to live a life that is an eternal enforced "vacation"... there was a good reason I preferred to work.

I'm finding ways to fill the long empty hours with activities I can still physically (safely) perform. (The skinned knee from falling after carrying the laundry up the stairs is almost healed, and I'm timing things more carefully.) I'm becoming more secure in the belief that I'll be able to afford to pay people to do all the things I wish I could do, but can't. I'm slowly attacking the projects I've been putting off - some of them, for years.

The different flavors of Disability, Unemployment, and Social Security - from SSDI, to SSI, to SS Retirement, to MIT Retirement, to MIT's Prudential Insurance Disability program, to the John Hancock Long-Term Disability Insurance program I've been paying for through MIT, to COBRA, to the FSA account, to... (what have I missed?) are a constant torment, but I've gradually arrived at a point where I occasionally make it through an entire day without spending an hour or two on the phone with one or two of their representatives. I'm beginning to spend time on better projects: I'm recruiting singers for the annual Longwood Opera G&S concert on Aug 6, and will soon start on my annual Music to Cure MS concert.

I hope you're finding satisfaction in the day. I hope you're staying cool!

Love,
Marion